![]() ![]() There are trogs, giants, the undead, mystical cloaked zealots, Vikings, massive wolves, and French people. The Bard's world, which is based on the legends of the Orkney Islands in Scotland, is filled with unspeakable evils. Once you have a grasp of the character and can accept the reality that this is not like any other RPG you've ever played - not even one where you choose to be evil - the true quest is revealed. You'll have a chance to get accustomed to the combat and magic system and to learn just what a snarky bastard the Bard truly is. The Tale The first few hours of The Bard's Tale serve as an introduction to the man and his talents. Towns have been razed due to the Bard's carelessness, lives ruined because of his selfish ways, and women scandalized because of his wanton libido. Throughout the 20-hour adventure, you'll have to contend with some of the Bard's previous misjudgments and mistakes. No matter what you dialogue choice, it becomes apparent early on that the Bard's attitude constantly gets him into trouble, even when he tries to be nice. ![]() In this way, The Bard's Tale feels very natural, with dialogue and a morality system that never feels forced. There's no way to know for certain what response will earn something and there's no indication that something you do early in the game will lead to dire consequences down the road. In fact, there is a balance between responses, so that sometimes being crass will actually earn you respect, reward, and even discounted prices. That doesn't mean you should be nice to everyone. Refuse to apologize to a cranky old man and he may resurface 15 hours later to cause you misery. Treat a dog poorly and it will run away, befriend it and it will be an invaluable companion for the remainder of the game. The choices you make not only lead to some funny quips from the Bard, but can also have a ripple effect on the entire game. It's an amazing recreation of life at the IGN offices. Some lines from the NPCs just cry for a roll of the eyes and a snide comment and other times you may realize that it's best just to play nice for a few moments to get someone out of your hair. Instead, you are encouraged to choose however you feel based on the situation. Unlike Knights of the Old Republic, there isn't any push to be always nice or always snarky (in Star Wars terms, Light or Dark). Take the nice response, and the Bard begrudgingly accepts the quest, but with a warning that if there's any funny business, he'll run them both through with his blade. Go snarky and the Bard refuses, since he's already been tricked by these Frenchies once before. Make the pup your pal or you'll be sorry.Īt one point a pair of obnoxious Frenchmen beg the Bard to reclaim their stolen frog. The Bard's "nice" responses are often still rude, but tend to be more in the affirmative. ![]() Instead, you can choose to be snarky or nice. However, this isn't your typical RPG where you select from a list of responses. Most conversations have at least one dialogue branch where you can choose how the Bard responds. You do have some control on the Bard's pettiness throughout his adventure, though it's really just deciding his level or ire - either super-sarcastic or mildly sarcastic. Even when trying to be gracious, the Bard remains a, well, a jerk. This selfishness is colored in every bit of dialogue. No, he's all about himself, from start to finish. The Bard isn't going to change overnight because there's a world in need of saving. Where many role-playing games feature a reluctant hero who eventually realizes he must be selfless, that he must become the world's savior, The Bard's Tale is different. He doesn't rescue villagers from a band of Vikings because it's the right thing to do, he does it because then he can take all the Vikings' gold. Every bit of conversation, every task given, it all revolves around suiting the Bard's needs. His interests are easy to define: Women, wine, and song - in that order. Yeah, the Bard is callous, greedy, self-centered, and a wee bit horny. Compared to the Bard, old Han is a selfless softie. Think of Han Solo, the rogue who sticks his neck out for no one. The Bard Let me first introduce you to the Bard, voiced by the brilliant Cary Elwes. ![]()
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